It is not fair...

It’s not fair:
What am I supposed
To learn from this?
What could I ever
Gain from experiencing
This nightmare
That is now part of my life?

Is this how
I gain wisdom and insight;
An understanding
That makes me
A better person?
Why should I have to accept
That this is a lesson
I ever needed to be taught?

How can I ever possibly
Deal with something
From so far beyond my imagination?
How can I possibly
Have prepared for something
So far outside
Of my existence, my experience;
Of my very reality

Should I have created a plan;
Written down, mapped out,
Visualised all horrors;
And created a sense
Of paranoia and fear?
Just in case life’s lesson
Deals a blow?

When can you know?
How can you protect,
From the monsters
Who do not dwell in the dark;
From monsters
That exist within some hearts?

How could anyone
Ever imagine
That there exist
Those who seek to hurt?
That there are those
Whose actions
Are simply beyond words
Beyond understanding?

Now that this lesson
Has been taught,
How do I gather
The shattered pieces
Of our lives?
How do I move beyond
This numbness,
Away from this fear;
Past my fury and
And my anguished tears?

How can I ever let go
Of the fears that dwell
Within my heart,
Within my soul:
That I should’ve known,
Seen something
That would have let me know?

How is this fair,
How can this be
How could I have been blind
To the pain
That festered
In guilt and in blame

It is not fair,
Not right
That the monster
That walks within the light
Will never know;
Never understand
The destruction
They have wrought.

It is not fair... by Allison Brown is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License. Based on a work at allisonbrown.blogspot.com.